What is the difference between a Goblin, an Elf and a Dwarf?

This one made me laugh, so I thought I would try to answer it!

As far I as I can ascertain, the difference between a Goblin, an Elf and a Dwarf are as follows:

  • Goblins live in caves, have slimy skin, are horrible, rude & obnoxious creatures
  • Elves have pointy ears, are quite nice, often helpful, and sing songs, are possesed with magical powers and fear the Goblins, who like to eat human flesh.
  • Dwarves are real, they are small humans who had growth deficiencies when they were young, often genetic problems, and are really no different to you or me, except maybe
  • Of course, a dwarf can be many things. It can also be a type of star, which is both large or small. If something is dwarfed by something else, it has been massively over-shadowed by the other thing, so actually, dwarf doesn't always mean small (kind of an irony really to small people - bit like saying wicked when something is good and not evil?!

    Some quality Dwarf related links are - Hank the Angry drunken Dwarf
    How can any one forget the mental dwarf from Jackass Wee Man Jason Acuna. Visit his website to see a small man getting big boobed girls!

As for the other two, they are mystical characters where elves are nice and goblins are not - thats about it - chack the Wiki for definitions if you want to know more about elves, trolls and Norse Mythology

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